Positive Reflection
Prior to joining Amal, I was hesitant in communicating with strangers. I always held back my words despite considering them extremely important. I never found the courage to go up to strangers and talk to them. Also meeting strangers and new people never fascinated me. Making new friends was something I always dreaded and never looked forward to. Even the fear and anxiety that gripped me while joining Amal was the fear of facing and communicating with new people.
I have never had any bad experiences with new people as of yet, but my introverted nature never allowed me to step out of my comfort zone. I always feel comfortable with my limited friends and never feel the need to befriend or even meet new people.
It’s never a single instance that inspires me but an assembly of small instances that make gradual changes. It’s the small events and occurrences that make all the difference. I value even the smallest, ordinarily mundane moments which might be of no value to others.
It would be an act of sheer indifference if I give all the credit to one event. I will start my journey from the very first session I remember the moment I entered the session Ma’am Anum asked me to speak up, and I acknowledged that I am not a conversation starter, so she said “then you should definitely speak up” because Amal for me is all about breaking barriers and stepping out of my comfort zone. so I tried my best to speak up whatever I was asked.
Also, I remember my first breakout room activity in the orientation session in which we were given an alien activity. I was sent in a breakout room with four other people. That was my first formal interaction with strangers on the other side of the screen. I found myself surprisingly comfortable while interacting, could be because of the reason that I was interacting passively through a screen and my anxiety is not visible online.
Gradually after every session, I noticed a dramatic deceleration in my anxiety while talking to other people. Also because of the reason that I was getting familiarized with my batch mates. Initially, I was even hesitant in participating in WhatsApp group discussions because I decided initially that I won’t be befriending new people. But as I learned about growth mindset and changing your perspective, I thought it to be no harm to befriend new people. When I learned about empathy and being kind, I tried to soften up a bit. I am completely aware of my bluntness and how incompassionate it made me appear. After the course on kindness and empathy, I tried to be a bit kind which made me a bit more approachable and I started having wholesome interactions with people at Amal.
Another defining moment in my Amal journey was when I was awarded an MVTP badge out of the blue. I always have a firm belief that things happen when you least expect them to, and being awarded an MVTP was one of them. It was the first time in a long while I was being appreciated for small acts of kindness. The best part about Amal is that even the smallest of deeds don’t go unnoticed. Random appreciation is what makes Amal different from other academic institutions (aur bhi chizain hain :p). Amal makes you feel like an unsung superhero being appreciated and acknowledged.
Also, it would pose me as an ungrateful being if I don’t mention the efforts of my amazing PM: Ma’am Anum Nasir, and PA: Sir Ahmad Ali. Without their involvement and encouragement, I don’t think I’d be able to shape my perspective in a new fashion. The welcoming environment they created stimulated me to think and reflect upon my preconceived notions.
Now that my Amal voyage is about to witness a beautiful and progressive end, I can confidently claim that I am no more the unconfident, hesitant Areesha anymore (although traces baaqi hain itni asaani sey jaan nahi chutegi :p). I feel a bit more comfortable while interacting with strangers and initiating a conversation. Although there’s more work to be done since Amal is not a magic wand (tabdeeli arahi hai filhaal a nahi chuki XD) and I acknowledge that, but I can claim for sure that I have successfully stepped out of my comfort zone and I can have healthy conversations with even strangers, which was a nightmare for me initially.
